The Quiz
by 0Book0Worm0
Summary: Kanda, Allen and Lavi take The Quiz on seme uke dot com


"The Quiz"

Lavi was messing around on Lenalee's computer, a gift from Komui. He was browsing different stuff on the Internet when he came across something called "The Seme Uke Quiz", knowing the Japanese words; he immediately wanted to get Kanda over here to take it. So he quickly grabbed the temperamental samurai and just for the hell of it he grabbed Allen too and brought them to Lenalee's room so that they could take the quiz. So skipping all of Kanda's colorful language and abusive demeanor they finally sat in front of the computer. Lavi gleefully looking at the screen, while Kanda proceeded to burn it with his eyes and Allen looked nervous being in Lenalee's room…..without her there. "Okay here's question One! Do you enjoy licking things?" He looked at Kanda, "Ask me again and I'll kick your ass." Allen peered at the screen trying to fight a blush, "N-no, not really". Lavi quickly input there answers, and paused to think of his own. "Hmm, do you want me to?" He typed out loud. "Question Two-" "How many fucking question are there!" Kanda demanded. Allen gave a sigh while Lavi said, "Dunno, 21 maybe." Not tearing his eyes from the screen, "If you leave we will finish the quiz for you and make sure you get Uke. We will also put said result all around the order." The Bookman Apprentice threatened. Kanda "Che'd" buy remained where he was sitting. "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, Question Two; Have you ever bought hair dye for yourself?" Kanda gave one of his famous 'death glares', while Allen pouted, "I don't dye me hair!" "Come on Allie, just answer the question." He gave Lavi a blank stare, "I will if you never call me 'Allie' again. Ok, hmm. Uh, it's not really my thing." With a chuckle Lavi said, "Only when I'm putting it in someone's shampoo bottle when their not looking-OW!" Kanda smacked him, "Do that again and you die." Lavi rubbed his now sore head, "Okay sheesh."

Moving back to the screen, "Question Three; have you ever tied someone up?" Lavi started fake crying "I'm always the one who's getting tortured *sob*" While he was being overly dramatic he also put responses for the other two without them knowing. "Okay, question Four-" Kanda smacked him again, "You forgot to ask us-Oi! I would never say something as gay as 'Can't you hear the begging from the other room?'" Allen started freaking out, "I don't want to be tied up!" Another abusive (on Kanda's part) argument later they were once again back to the quiz. "Question Four; Have you ever been tied up?" Lavi looked thoughtful, "I might let someone tie me up, as long as it got me what I wanted." Kanda looked pissed (when does he not?) and said "Wanna die?" Allen looked a little dejected, "It's the punishment I deserve."

Without any more incidents (more or less) the three were going through the questions. Question Five: What kind of shoes do you wear? Allen- Canvas Sneakers Lavi- Boots with long laces so I can have something to tie my Uke up with (this was directed at Kanda and yes, he did get hit for it. Again.) Kanda- Steel-toed Black Boots

Question Six: Would you feel guilty for taking advantage of someone? Lavi- I'm not going to hurt them. It's for their own good anyway. Allen- I'm always being taken advantage of *eyes well up with tears* Kanda- Shit happens

Question Seven: Your weapons of choice? Kanda- That badass sword from the video game I played last week! So cool! *swings imaginary sword and does fighting pose* Lavi- My ability to see all possibilities and use them to my advantage Allen- My charming smile

Question Eight: Do you have any piercings? Lavi- *grins and sticks out tongue* Allen- *unclips fake ear piercing* Umm… Kanda- *death glare*

Question Nine: Alcohol? Allen- Are you sure I should drink this? Lavi- My partner's so cute when s/he's drunk *grins* Kanda- Wanna make a bet?

Question Ten: What kind of vehicle do you drive? Kanda- Motorcycle Allen- Red Scooter Lavi- Classic Sports Car

Question Eleven: How do you eat your ice cream? Kanda- I. Don't. Eat. Ice. Cream. Lavi- Let it melt and slowly lick it as it drips down the cone Allen- Um…in a cone?

Question Twelve: What gift would you give your partner? Allen- A candle-lit dinner Lavi- Edible body paint Kanda- Candy or a plushie

Question Thirteen: What's your ideal pet? Kanda- Pets? I don't have time for that shit Allen- Um, a turtle, or maybe a dog, or ferrets are cool too… Lavi- A kitten, or anything cute

Question Fourteen: How do you order at a restaurant? Allen- Introduce myself to the server and ask what they would recommend Kanda- Tell them what I want Lavi- Tell them what I want

Question Fifteen: The server brings you the wrong food. What do you do? Lavi- Grin and talk my way into two free meals Allen- I'm used to disappointments, I'll eat it anyway Kanda- Call the server a freaking idiot, and then get drunk waiting for them to bring my right order, while my partner laughs their ass off

Question Sixteen: You catch someone checking out your partner. You: Allen- Smile, introduce yourself, and then slip out the back to set their car on fire Kanda- Kick their ass Lavi-Feel lucky that I have such an attractive partner

Question Seventeenth: Your dream occupation: Kanda- Something thrilling and maybe not quite legal Allen- Fashion designer Lavi- It'd be fun to be in a band *peace sign*

Question Eighteen: What's your favorite accessory? Lavi- The cool boar tooth necklace that I won in a poker game Allen- My cat ears and tail Kanda- My weapon

Question Nineteenth: What costume would you wear to a masquerade? Allen- A Renaissance costume, or something classy, that perhaps matches my partners costume Kanda- Masquerade? Fuck that shit Lavi- A stripper. If the party got a little dull and for bonus attention, I can always take something off

Question Twenty: What kind of music do you listen too? Kanda- Rock Lavi- Something sexy I can dance to Allen- Pop! Light and happy music ^^

Question Twenty-One: Do you usually find yourself on top or bottom? Lavi- Wanna make a bet and find out? *winks* Kanda- Are you trying to be a wiseass? Allen- *blinks with wide eyes and turns red*

Lavi's Result: Flaming Uke

Outgoing, sexy, and intuitive, the Flaming Uke is truly a master of social interaction once their skills have matured. It's no wonder they always seem to be the center of attention in their circle of friends - and they make sure of it, surrounding themselves with those who give them the just attention they know they deserve.

The Flaming Uke can come off as rather flamboyant and egocentric with their self-assured and sometimes downright bossy attitude, but they're only giving you their advice for your own good. And maybe that's why so many seek them out for their artistic ideas - from love, fashion, or sexy tips on how to get the attention of that special seme you've been after, the Flaming Uke is always happy to help. They make wonderful friends, just be sure to stay on their good side, as this personality is skilled with drama, and can tend to get a bit competitive, opportunistic, and jealous when crossed.

In love relationships, they get along best with the Chibi Seme and Romantic Seme. Flaming Uke seek a partner that will show them attention and appreciate their quite flaming personality without feeling completely owned by their significant other, and can get resentful if they feel they are being controlled in a romantic relationship, as they like to feel free to express their creativity.

The Flaming Uke personality best (but not always) corresponds with these associations:

Japanese Element: Fire

Chinese Zodiac: Tiger

Color: Pink Cherry

Fruit: Cherries

Dessert: Cherries Flambe

Theme Song: Vanilla by Gackt

Allen's Result: Innocent Uke

Creative, sweet, and shy, the Innocent Uke dreams of a peaceful life with the perfect partner - someone to protect them, and lavish them with romantic affection. Artistic and gentle in manner and appearance, the Innocent Uke avoids conflict and decision-making, content in placing their complete trust and happiness in their partner's hands - for all they really desire is to surround themselves with the soft and fluffy fantasy world they've created for themselves.

Other common traits of the Innocent Uke include being: thoughtful, trusting, insecure, sensitive, romantic, and loyal.

The Innocent Uke personality best (but not always) corresponds with these associations:

Japanese Element: Water

Chinese Zodiac: Sheep

Color: White

Fruit: Tangerines

Dessert: Angel Food Cake

Theme Song: Smile Ichiban Ii Onna by An Cafe

Kanda's Result: Don't Fuck With Me Seme

Possibly the most easily misunderstood Seme personality - the dark intense eyes of the DFWM Seme silently penetrating deep into your true motives is enough to frighten most away. Only those with a taste for playing with danger, and a craving for sensual punishment, would approach willingly into this fire. Intensely possessive and serious, this Seme is driven by challenge - and the thrill of the hunt, capture, and physical dominance over their partner in their shared game of power and submission. And despite this Seme being silent (unless provoked into anger) and more of a loner, once they've found the right partner - someone who can match their intensity and darkness - they are deeply protective, loyal, and sensual.

The Don't Fuck With Me Seme personality best (but not always) corresponds with these associations:

Japanese Element: Earth

Chinese Zodiac: Ox

Color: Steel

Fruit: Grapes

Dessert: Dark Chocolate Brownies

Theme Song: Countdown by Hyde

A full minute passed before any of them made a sound. "…What the fuck! Usagi, this was a complete waste of time!" With an angry snort Kanda got up and left…to do something Kanda-ish? Allen and Lavi sat there not quite sure what to say. "Well…" Lavi spoke to break the stillness, "At least we know he's not an Uke." Allen blushed before he too left. Lavi blinked, amused by his companion's reactions, he continued strolling through the site, not away of Lenalee's approach. The click of the doorknob was the only sign Lavi got before Lenalee walked into the room. "Lavi! What are you doing in my room?" She asked startled. "Uh.." Lavi wasn't given a chance to respond before Komui came out of nowhere with a drill and tried to stab Lavi's other eye. As there steps of destruction, Lenalee gave a sigh before looking at her computer screen to see what Lavi was looking at. Her eyebrows shot into her bangs as she read the results…..and an evil grin formed.

*Elsewhere*

The three afore mentioned males gave a shudder as a sense of doom washed through them.


End file.
